Better in fiction than in face;

Thursday, August 30th, 2012

It wasn’t a long time, not a feeling of being lost, rather alien to surrounding context. Pushing through emotive feelings/thought, living the now. Base bumped to and fro down narrow ear canals encased, plastic and pleather. Eyes darted around, awash with visual stimuli, following fictitious humming bird feed. Pear shaped hand holds dangled from metal bars, aligned symmetrically, positioned such, giving the elusion of continuing down the carriage for eternity, interrupted only by the clasp of nervous fingers or advert. Swaying rhythmically to the motion of the train, each jolt of the wheels against steel tracks, holds swayed.

When thrust into a foreign environment, be it natural or urban the feeling of insecurity provides a solid backdrop for reflection. It condenses priorities, highlights things that have played on your mind. It makes you forget about small things which have little to no relevance on global scales. You ponder the ones that do…

Waking in the bed, I realized it was over. The dinner was a farce, not to plan. I had no place of home. Work postponed a week. Japan the first place to come to mind. While she slept, I tapped away, laptop, face illuminated by the screen. The airfare, evening flight book that day. I needed to get away, escape, choose a new reality. Now.

Hurtling through the country side. Rice paddies. Transmission power-lines. Bamboo forrest. As quickly as the eye to see, the land-escaped and changed. “Kyoto!” Late in the evening, planned not for the destination, a hotel across from the station. Pulling the cord back to the red line, the box began to steam, “hisssssssss…”. Perhaps not a delicious meal, but a novelty none the less.

If you walk, you’ll find. A guide book speeds up the process, but your intuition will guide you to where you need to go. Its aptitude will determine how long that takes. The rain began to fall, the clap of thunder distant, yet near. Passing through a gated entrance, a girl gave a smile, guide book in her hand. Wanting to stop, I continued. Standing on the castle turreted side, I looked over the moat into the sheets of rain.

If you catch a train, a local train, and you follow where people get off, or more accurately, where the majority get off, you’re placing yourself in the now, and you’ll be guided to where you want to go, or rather, where your guide book may have directed you.

Saturday night, I’d just returned from interstate with my request to be re-stationed locally, freshly submitted. The relationship was at a turning point, yet it felt right to try and bring things back together. With intimate relationships, come the joys of intimacy. You really only realize you enjoy something when it slips away from your hands. Only then does it become evident how much you don’t want to let go. This, though, is flawed, as it’s only natural to want something that’s not readily available, present. The grass, is, greener. Always. Fact. But it isn’t. It takes a number of these such experiences to begin to understand, it’s never achievable to obtain everything, or rather, do we need to obtain it all. When do we sit back, look around and are content..?

Sitting in the hostel foyer, the building begun to shake and sway. “Earthquake” was heard spoken, ni yelled. Cement pillars twisted and rocked on their vertices. It seemed the norm for such an event and other than the word “earthquake” shouted, it stopped as quickly as it occurred disappearing without a trace. You’d never have noticed it without looking at something for a reference point. I guess, an earthquake has similarities to this that I’ve begun to discover. That, the pursuit is the goal, not the end result/product/relationship. Enjoy the journey, play along the way, respect others, and then, one day it ends. That’s it, keep peeking around those corners, searching for the unexplored, but remember, its the journey thats the point. Enjoy it.